The Overpraising Mistake in Parenting : How Too Much Encouragement Creates Dependence

Discover why too much praise can create dependence in young children. Learn how to encourage effort, resilience, and self-confidence through intentional parenting.

🧩 Introduction

"You’re the best!" "Wow, that’s amazing!" "Such a smart girl!"

Phrases like these come naturally when we see our little ones doing something — anything. We praise to show love, build their confidence, and encourage them to keep going.

But what if we told you that too much praise, or the wrong kind, can do the opposite of what we intend?

At Amogh Early Learning Centre, our approach to child development involves nurturing inner motivation instead of external approval. Let’s understand how overpraising impacts children and what we can do differently.

🚨 The Hidden Cost of Too Much Praise

Take the story of Rhea — a 4-year-old who scribbles something simple. Her parent exclaims, “Wow! That’s brilliant!” Every time she draws, similar praise follows.

Over time, Rhea becomes dependent on that praise. She doesn’t enjoy drawing for fun anymore. She draws only to hear how "brilliant" she is.

This is the cycle of dependence praise can create. Instead of building self-worth, it teaches children to seek validation for every effort.

🔍 Why Overpraising Can Backfire

1. Outcome Over Process: Children focus on being praised rather than doing their best.

2. Praise Addiction: They begin to feel unsure or discouraged if they don’t receive constant affirmation.

3. Fear of Failure: Children may avoid challenging tasks because they fear not being “great” at them.

🌱 A Better Way: Praise That Builds Confidence

Here are four ways you can encourage your child without overpraising:

• Praise the Effort, Not Just the Result “I can see you really focused while building this tower. Great effort!”

• Be Specific “I love how carefully you arranged the colors here.”

• Ask Reflective Questions “What part of this did you enjoy the most?”

• Celebrate Struggle, Not Just Success “That puzzle was tough, but you kept trying. That’s what matters!”

🧠 How We Practice This at Amogh

At Amogh Early Learning Centre:

• Children are encouraged to express themselves freely.

• We acknowledge their feelings and effort, not just achievements.

• We foster self-reflection by asking them what they think and feel about their work.

• We use Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) insights to tune into their signals and build inner confidence.

The result? Independent, secure, and self-aware little humans.

💬 Final Thought

Your words are powerful. But your child’s inner voice is even more powerful — let’s help them build it strong.

Next time you’re tempted to say “You’re amazing!”, try this instead: 👉 “You tried something new today. How did it feel?”

📲 Want more insights like this?

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